DNF – zero stars
I got this as a freeie from Bookbub, thought it looked like a fun popcorn read. I’m ex-Army and love me some sexy, military romance fluff.
Sigh… I got even less than I expected, and I didn’t expect much even with all the 5 stars. I didn’t leave a star since I don’t believe in rating a book I didn’t finish. But this was too funny not to share. I do hope the author continues to write and gets a better editor.
I tried to keep reading, really I did.
Writing Sin #1: All telling, no showing. He did this. He did that. He felt this way. He felt that way. Oh, hey your entire family is dead. We don’t get to see it. We just get to see his melt down, sort of. But since we’ve just met Coop, who cares that he’s family’s dead. Meh. We never met them either.
Writing Sin #2: Grammar, grammar, grammar, GRAMMAR!!! By the first chapter, second page I’d read this soda-spewer.“Coop rolled over and placed his palms behind his head, disentangling the sweaty sheet from his long six-foot-four-inch legs.”
Wait. What? I’m not sure which part is freaking me out more. The fact that it’s implied that his hands (which are behind his head and also should be clasped not placed but that’s nitpicking) are also disentangling the sheet from his legs, or that apparently his LEGS are 6’4″. Holy shit those are some long ass legs!
Plus there’s some misplaced punctuation and whatnot… But that’s small potatoes compared to the above line.
Writing Sin #3: Boring, boring, boring protagonist. And a little gross. Four chapters in and I should give a crap about Cooper, a member of SEAL team 3. I mean, the poor guy has just lost his entire family. Meh. Don’t care cause I don’t know him. I don’t know him because I’ve only been told about him, not shown him doing much that reveals his character.
Except that he thinks about sex a lot, including during his family’s funeral. Ewwww… I know guys think about sex a lot, but COME ON! This does not make me like your protag. He actually ogles his old high school girlfriend’s boobs while in the church. During the memorial! Then he fantasizes about how they used to have sex. And she notices and flirts. Double ewwww! I’m no prude or bible-thumper, but if I’d just lost my ENTIRE FREAKING FAMILY INCLUDING THE DAMN DOG I wouldn’t be thinking about sex. I know my husband would agree with me on this. He’s the sensitive one in our family.
So Coop has major issues. Icky ones.
When I got to this line in reference to the female protag… “Her dad was gardening near the front steps of their peach-colored estate.… Well, I just couldn’t anymore.
After I was able to breathe normally and cleaned up the spewed soda, I thought WTH? Peach-colored estate? Did the lawn-guys spray paint the landscaping in a fit of low-pay-induced rage? Or perhaps she means “estate with peach-colored stucco” or “peach-colored stucco estate”
Funny how one word changes the entire meaning.
I enjoy escapism, but it has to be good escapism. It may not have a few good men–er–lines, but it did give me a few good laughs.